We’ve had so many great hoots in this band, but it’s tough to imagine how we could possibly top the weekend we just spent in Vegas. If performing in an event band could be compared to a sexual encounter, this weekend was undoubtedly the orgasm. The apex of gratuitous wonderment. It was the pinnacle of an already illustrious career, the sprinkles on the donut, the gravy on the biscuit, the vodka in the tonic, the hair on a bald guy - huh?
Flying out of Bellingham at 8 in the morning meant arriving at the airport at 7, which in turn meant getting up at 4 o’clock in the morning to ensure those ghastly border guards couldn’t abuse their power and detain us intentionally so that we’d miss our flight. What is it with those odorous morons? Did they all go to “Twatt school”? They literally love to inflict intense discomfort on innocent civilians and will do anything in their power to cause you a painful delay. Talk about abuse of authority! How they must salivate at the thought of rendering belligerently delivered instruction to the hapless and powerless!
Having the liberty to be downright rude and nasty is a position privilege, and MY how they love to use it! Being nice back is the only feeble option. Even the most law abiding people are treated with utter contempt and disdain. We all accept they have a job to do and a position to maintain, but is it not possible to do it with a modicum of politeness? Not likely! If this blog happens to find it’s way to a border guard - you sir, are a “pelican” of the highest order and at least I get to say in writing what I can’t say to your face.
Back to the plot: Whenever this band get together there’s a propensity to partake in the Lord’s brew. Bellingham airport isn’t exactly endowed with Gordon Ramsay standard eatery’s and upon discovering the astronomical price of a soggy sandwich we decided to blow the froth of a few ales. Now … drinking in the early hours on an empty stomach is a genuine anomaly - let me inform you! It does bizarre things to your psyche and compels you to attempt otherwise unfamiliar diction, such as the word “Wibble” I have no idea what it means but it sure sounded funny after 3 morning brews.
We were probably the most cheerful morning passengers since Westjets' inception. On the plane we partook in more fermented hops and decided to entertain our fellow passengers, who seemed very appreciative of our loudly performed rendition of what is the worlds most annoying song - “Mustang Sally”. At one point I was able to estimate that at least 75% of the passengers were bellowing back “Ride Sally Ride”. Even the pilot offered his appreciation over the address system!
A lovely old gent in his 80’s requested a Simon and Garfunkel song and offered to keep the beat with 2 spoons he happened to have on his person. Our boisterous version of “the boxer” and his rather splendid spoon chops was met with overwhelming, thunderous applause and cheering. The old chap was a little overcome with emotion, welling up with tears without the merest hint of self-consciousness! He warmly shared with us that he hasn’t felt that great in over quarter of a century, and thanked us for making his trip memorable before it had begun! What a beautiful example of how the power of music, even when delivered by beer drinking hairy Herberts, can unite otherwise unrelated mammalians and can act as a catalyst to the unification of the same! Maybe Donald Trump should learn to play the spoons.
Upon arrival in Vegas we were transported to our resort by a 24 seater luxury bus and the driver was more than content to stop at a liquor store en route! More jocular merriment ensued until we arrived. We were located about 30 minutes drive from the strip at Hilton Lake Las Vegas Resort and Spa, the best kept secret in North America. How is it possible? A lake in the desert?! But there it was. The hotel is built on it’s shore. The lake looks like it has absolutely no right to belong there, surrounded by baron-ness, grass-less landscape in the blistering heat. It is quite the geographical oxymoron if there ever could be one!
That afternoon we soaked up some sun, lounged around the pool, and then hit the infamous strip for yet more lavish liquids!! At the end of the night our livers were waving a white flag!
Next day was show day. We were performing for the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, a phenomenal, genuinely great group! We had performed at their event in Vancouver in 2014 and they selected us over the many options available in Vegas! Quite the accolade indeed! We performed our socks off as usual, in a great sounding room, and received an unbelievably great response. We unanimously agreed that this company is one of the best crowds we’ve ever performed for. They will take back home some awesome memories of an amazing night, and that leaves us with a warm, fuzzy feeling in our nether abdominal regions!
Las Vegas - while somewhat tacky, was the epitome of glitz and glamour. The Hilton Lake Resort and Spa was classy, amazing and gorgeous. We got to perform there and be there courtesy of our amazing shows and the word continues to spread! Many more glamorous trips will come our way and for that we are forever grateful.
We do indeed have the best job in the world!
Posted on Tue, November 8, 2016
by Marty Robson